My First Time Going to the Doctors
I went to the Doctor to get shots. I think shots are horrible. When I walked in to the doctor’s office my heart started to pound. I was scared! When I went into the fish room I saw fish, toys and benches. I sat down to wait. I played with the bead thing to keep me busy. After awhile I kind of got bored with that so I sat down to read some books.
When I got called in, had to sit on a little chair. The doctor came in, he had a blue top with blue pants. He had brown hair and he looked nice. He had one of those telescope things that check your heart around his neck, a stethscope. It makes sure your heart is not going too fast or too slow. He picked up a sharp needle and put it on the plunger, and then he gave me my shots. I said “ouch!” I cried a little bit, not very much at all. But after I got my shots I got a lollipop! Then my mom took me to the Dairy Queen. I felt super happy to get my shots, even though it was not a very fun time.
Hi Maddie! I’m sorry you had to get a shot, shots are the worst. Even as a teenager, I still despise them. At least you got a treat afterwards, that was nice of your mom to take you to Dairy Queen.
ReplyDeleteI’m a little confused though, why did your head begin to pound when you got into the doctor’s office? A little more detail would be awesome!
Try to avoid the word "thing", maybe you could say the bead game instead of the bead thing?
Your description of the doctor and the process for getting your shot was great. Your words made me feel like I was right there in the room with you.
I think you’re on to a great start, I would just read through your story a few times because there may be a few small errors. I think you used the word “but” instead of “put”?
I can’t wait to see more of your work!
-Angel