I have a dog named Buster. He is a heavy dog. He is always calm, and he is a rhodesian ridgeback. Buster is a funny dog, he likes to droop his head on the bed. He is cute and he loves my papa. I feel bad for Buster when he has to go to the vet. Sometimes when he gets shots I think he feels frightened. He is such a fraidy cat! He is even scared of my unicycle. But I can’t blame him, because I accidently hit him with it. One time Buster was running. I said “ Come here boy” he ran to me and knocked me over. It hurt, so I went inside and laid down. Buster came in too, and he started to lick me, I laughed. I love Buster so much!
Monday, October 25, 2010
My Dog Buster by Hannah
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Hey Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story about your dog Buster. It seems your writing has improved since the last time we talked. I like how you included many details about what kind of dog Buster is and what he is afraid of. I was also impressed with the way you used quotation marks towards the end of the story because it shows your tone of voice which is helpful to the rest of the story.
I have some suggestions to help improve your story such as, in the beginning why is Buster getting shots? and what else is he afraid of besides your unicycle? Also in the first few sentences of your story it would be helpful to add more details about Buster and your family. An example would be telling how long you have had Buster and how he interacts with the rest of your family or friends.
It was great reading another one of your stories Hannah and i can’t wait to chat with you on skype so we can talk more about your writing!
See you soon,
Lindsey.