Monday, December 6, 2010

Shadow

My dog Shadow died last weekend. He was a black lab with a white belly and black fur.I was so sad I cried a lot. I also felt bad for my dad because he had to bury Shadow all by himself. He buried Shadow in my Grampa's yard. I have three pictures of Shadow in my room. He always listened and he was a good dog. I liked that Shadow never jumped up and tried to steal our food. One thing that I did not like about Shadow was his gas, he had very stinky gas. We had to leave the room when he did it, my dad would yell "Shadow you stink!" My mom would leave the room and get her OXY CLEAN to spray. My mom told me a story about when they went to my grandparents because they had a dog named Buddy. Buddy and Shadow had a rope with two hoops at the ends. They wrestled with it. I felt a little better after the story. I even laughed a little. Then she told me another story about how her and Shadow were the only ones home, My dad was at his work. Shadow had to go out so my mom took him out. Shadow was way up in the front. Then he ran back of my mom and into the house. But it turned out that it was just my dad coming home from work. I laughed so hard I could not stop. Then I had to go to bed. I still thought about Shadow because he was a good dog. I love Shadow a whole lot and I wish he was here right now.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Emma,

    Looks like you have a true talent for writing. The way in which you explain your topics are quite advanced and quite adequate.

    When I started reading your paper, I was able to understand your situation through the description of your feelings. When you mentioned that you “felt sad”, you went on to explain why. Doing this is very important in expressing yourself during that time. Put simply, good job!

    I also noticed how you reflected on Shadow’s life. When I read this, I instantly remembered my experience with my own dog before she died. Being able to cause a reader to go through similar emotions that you went through using only your words is a great talent and something that all good writers are able to do.

    I think that you could help the reader understand more about how you feel about your dog by mentioning what you like to do with your dog. You did say that you liked how “Shadow never jumped up and tried to steal [your] food”, but I think a more personal approach might help move your reader (emotionally, of course) even more.



    Hope to talk again soon,

    Kyle

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