My baby sister is now one and a half years old. Her birthday was a blast! For her cake we got cupcakes. For Halloween Abby is going to be a dog. Last year Abby was a frog. I want ot be a werewolf or a vampire. I was a clown last year.
I love my little sister she is the best listening sister ever! Sometimes she takes my stuff when I am not looking. I feel happy and sad that I have to watch her. After awhile Abby cries and cries and cries. I get so angry I storm off to my bedroom. Abby is a pain in the butt sometimes, but I love my little sister anyway, I know she just wants everything I have.
Hey Maddie!
ReplyDeleteI just read the story about your little sister. I absolutely love how you went from talking about memories from the past with all of the dialogue (talking), to the future. That flowed really nice. It seems like your parents were very happy about the baby, I’m sorry they didn’t hear you. You made me laugh when you said “Yuck” when they were kissing. I could really hear your voice and picture you standing there trying to talk to them, but them not hearing you because they were overwhelmed by the baby.
Why do you feel happy and sad when you have to watch her? Maybe you could say something like “Even though my sister makes me happy, I’m sometimes sad when I have to watch her.” Then explain why you feel sad when you have to watch her.
In your last sentence, “Abby is a pain in the butt sometimes, but I love my little sister anyway, I know she just wants everything I have”, try to combine your thoughts. So for example, try to explain why she’s a pain in your butt (“because she wants everything I have”) and then sum up your sentence with “but I love my little sister anyway.” I think that would be a great ending.
I really enjoyed hearing about your baby sister Maddie! It sounds like Halloween will be fun. I’ve never had a baby brother or baby sister, I’ve always been the little sister so it’s nice to hear about how much you love her. I can tell that you chose this topic because you really care about it. I can’t wait to hear more and see your improvements!
-Angel