I got dressed right off the bat. I was so excited to see my family and my grandparents, I ran down the stairs like a cheetah! I could no wait to go. We finally got in the car and off we went. When we got there I saw my aunt's and uncles, and a lot of other family members. I was so excited for my party which was going to start soon. Once everyone was there we started with lunch and then we did presents. I had just finished opening my last present when I heard something so I looked up. A tall looking woman walked in carrying a puppy. "Is that for me?" I asked. "Yes." I was shocked! I automatically went running towards the black lab puppy and patted her on the head and hopped in the chair. My Pepe asked me what I wanted to name her. I already knew so I said "Rosie." I think some people thought it was a little fast, but I didn't. I knew it was the right name for her. My Mom and Dad had to go to L.L. Bean's to get food and a toy for Rosie because she only came with a collar and a leash. When it was time to leave the party I really didn't care which car I took as long as my dog was there. When we got in the car I was surprised to see her jumping around for so long a time. I expected her to climb on my lap and fall asleep but she didn't. When we got home I played with Rosie for a long time.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Rosie
One day I had just woken up. "My family birthday party is today" I shouted. Although I hadn't had my 5th birthday yet, but it was Easter and we were going to have my party two days earlier. I was so excited to see my family, who wouldn't be? Not to mention my grandparents house which is in the capital of Maine, Augusta.
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Another great story, Amy!
ReplyDeleteIn this piece, I could see that you worked really hard to create imagery. When you wrote, “I ran down the stairs like a cheetah,” a vivid picture was painted in my head. I could imagine you doing just that! I also like your first sentence. It was very short, and sweet, and grabbed my attention well!
In the second paragraph, on the second line, you wrote “I could no wait.” This is just a typo I’m sure, but it would be a good idea to make that ‘no’ a ‘not.’ Other than that, you did a great job with your overall content.
When you talk about “the tall woman” carrying Rosie, my attention was captured, but, who is that woman? Was that your mom? Was it Rosie’s previous owner? Who bought you the puppy? I think that would be an interesting detail to add! Also, you said you heard them coming. Did you hear Rosie’s barks? Her whimpers? Was it “the tall woman’s” shoes on the ground? I think that further talking about what you heard would be awesome!
When you wrote about naming Rosie so quickly, I cannot help but wonder where that name came from. Did it just come to you in the moment? Or had you always known that, if you got a puppy, you would name her Rosie?
Great job and I look forward to chatting with you!
Jordan