Where I’m From
I am from dirt bikes and jump ropes,
from Borders and Gamestop
I am from the happy home on River Rd
I am from bright and hot,
and the green pine trees
I am from playing on the hammock
and being respectful and funny
From Michelle, Erick, Bonnie, and Damon
I am from the blue metal snowshoes and sledding with grammy
I am from “Clean up your room”
And “Eat with your mouth closed”
I am from Maine, and macaroni and cheese
and grilled hamburgers with ketchup
I am from the pictures of my family hanging on the bedroom wall
Hey Dom,
ReplyDeleteYour poem is wonderful. I like the rhyming "happy home on River road"; that really stuck out as poetic to me. I also like the descriptions you used! Like when you said, "the blue metal snowshoes", it gave me such a clear picture of what you were talking about.
I also noticed that you used some rhyming parallelism ("From Borders and Gamestop," "From bright and hot"; stop and hot rhyme). Wonderful job, kiddo!
I think it would be even better if you unified your topics to make the ideas flow better. For example, when you kept all of your ideas about a summer day in a certain section of the poem, it really gives the reader a clear idea of what you're trying to describe. I can describe what I'm trying to say better on Tuesday. (Monday? I forget things.)
But hey, I wrote a poem like that. Wanna check it out?
Where I'm From
By Cassie Morin
I am from laptops and headphones, from 19-hour
phone calls and Avatar: The Last Airbender
marathons.
I am from the second to last house on Alma
Drive, where the snow doesn't completely melt in
the front yard until May.
I am from the leaping grasshoppers in the front
yard and the jumpy crickets and frogs in the
back,
the forest in the backyard, where it was easy to
play hide and seek and not get found.
I am from many Thanksgivings at Memere's, at the
children's table with distant cousins who ate
their boogers, and a hard-of-hearing great-
grandfather who survived World War II,
from Linda and Barry and Don and Uncle Sean.
I am from the Christmas dinners between only my
Mother and me, being grateful for everything we
have,
from "feed the cats" and "put away the dishes".
I'm from Maine and France and Germany, from
chicken nuggets and spaghetti with garlic bread.
I am from the photograph slideshow on the coffee
table, marking the stages of my life and the
memories I'll never forget.