Where I’m From
I am from the big blue sky and the pretty purple lilacs,
from cuddly Boxer puppies and riding glistening unicycles
and red M&M’s
I am from the sappy maple trees in my backyard
and pretty blue vast oceans, the good smelling lilacs that grow in the pasture and grazing horses
I am from Aquabogon, from Erik, Jamseie, Matthew, Georgia, and James,
I am from trips to other states with my family and
camping in Lincoln
From “Say please and thank you” And “Say excuse me”
I am from Parkview in Maine, Shepard’s Pie and Spaghetti
I am from a scrapbook in the attic that no one actually looks at
Hello Bella! Here is my poem that I read to you on Skype:
ReplyDeleteWhere I'm From
I am from pokemon cards, from Sony and Kleenex.
I am from the badminton net in the front yard, the bright, filled, lively, and delicious.
I am from the crimson asiatic lily, the glowing pink and orange sunset.
I am from opening one present on Christmas Eve and comedic, from Hernan, Mary, Laura, Chris and Giraldo.
I am from watching movies and fishing on the rocky shores of the ocean.
From "God loves you" and "I love you".
I'm from Fort Worth and Colombia, spaghetti and rice.
I am from pictures on the wall and seashells in a shoebox, gathered by little children's hands.
Also, I wanted to remind you again of how good your poem is! I can tell that you worked hard at it, because it came out so well!
I really liked that you added a lot of descriptive words even when the format didn't say you had to. It was this extra work that really made your ideas stand out.
One thing I think you could think about adding is putting periods at the end of your sentences. This is up to you though, because in a poem, you only have to add punctuation marks (like periods and commas) if you feel that they should go there.
Some of my favorite parts of your poem are: "pretty blue vast oceans", "the good smelling lilacs that grow in the pasture", and "sappy maple trees in my backyard." My favorite line, however, is your last one: "I am from a scrapbook in the attic that no one actually looks at." I can really picture all your favorite things because you described them so well, and your last sentence makes you sound like a professional poet!
Keep working hard, and write more masterpieces before we get to talk again on Skype!
Your Friend, Sarah